“What
the heck is that noise?” was the thought that ran through my mind at five o’clock
in the morning. It was my first dawn of being in the jungle with my
grandparents. My folks thought that it was a great idea to let me live with my father’s
Aztec tribe for an entire summer, that it would give me some insight. I, on the
other hand, preferred to be a carefree young child who enjoyed their summer
playing outside in the city; but I was overruled. Yeah it sounds cool in the
beginning, but after a day with no cartoons or video games, it really takes its
toll on a youngster. So there I was, in the middle of the jungle in a warm
summer day. I was awoken by plenty of voices and tropical birds, with rays of
sun peeking through the branches; talk about a good morning!
Your introduction is starting off well. I enjoy how you began with a the first day and back tracked to how you ended up at your location. The ending was also enjoyable with your use of imagery to paint us the picture of where you were. Though I enjoy your introduction I don't see how it applies to your major. That could be left to come and if it is then I'm excited to read the rest.
ReplyDeleteAustin Pierce
This is a very good introduction. It is full of detail and gives a vivid picture of the situation. Th only thing that I would change is possibly the word choice in the last sentence. I would say "various" or something like that instead of "plenty of." Other than that, I thing it is going it be a very interesting story and am very excited to read the full version.
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