Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Introduction To Paper-Matthew Ross
In this story you are about to read, you are going to learn about one of the most single devastating events to ever strike me, strip me of one of the things I hold closest to my heart and I devoted all my time into for a dream and thought was would be taken away in a few minutes. There I was laying on the ground in incredibly horrific pain gripping my knee as I yelled to the heavens. As I laid there a thousand different things ran through my head, as never being seriously injured in football I had no idea what was happening to me. It all started as a normal defensive practice for football, the only difference was that this was the first day after hell week and the first day of full pads and full hitting drills, so as it were we were all jacked and pumped to start hitting and tackling. As the whistle blew for the end of our water break we all made our way to our specific designations on the field, linemen went to the end-zone on the far side of the field, defensive backs and linebackers to the 50 yard line each for of the respective drills designed for our positions my friend and I lined up against one another being some of the oldest and best hitters on the team we loved going head to head on one another. As we got into our stances the anticipation was so awesome, the feel of hitting someone else was the best feeling on the planet, imagine being able to take out all your frustration on someone and get praised for it.
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Matt great job on your introduction. I like how you began with how this is the worst thing that has ever happened to you. The way you begin with how you were lying there and then came back to where it all began was a good choice. I just hope that your story flows into how it relates to your major well. I cannot wait to read the rest of it.
ReplyDeleteAustin Pierce
To start off, the topic that you chose is a good topic because it means something to you which will make it easier to write about. I saw a few things that I would change though. For one, the first sentence is a run on sentence. It also has a few parts that do not make sense. For example, “a dream and thought was would be taken away,” may be missing a word or the sentence was restructured and words were left in that shouldn’t be there. Also, the word, “laying” should be “lying.” I would recommend typing your paper on Microsoft word, which has the spelling and grammar check prior to submitting it. Overall, it sounds like it will be a very good story.
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